Everyone's life is different and even if the principles of this book are more or less applicable to all of us, it is not certain that we can all apply them in the same way to our life. However, being true to yourself and aware of how to handle your needs is a good start for everyone.

Your path to true satisfaction and contentment can feel tricky but is in fact quite simple. Meet your true needs and eliminate your false needs! How challenging this will be, depends on your motivation as well as on your inner condition and outer circumstances. It is not certain that in your current situation you have all the resources to meet all your needs in the best way. It could be that some resources are completely impossible to get hold of right now. Perhaps your circumstances need to change before you can meet all your needs as you would like. This is a part of the journey and there is no need to feel let down. Start with the things you know you can influence. The needs you already have the resources to meet. Work with what you have at hand!

Some of us live in difficult circumstances. Is it possible to experience true satisfaction if your resources are severely limited by your outside circumstances, such as if you are in jail or you are very poor? I believe that as long as you can meet the basic needs, it is quite possible.

The challenge is clearly greater. There will be more needs outside of your basic needs that need to be eliminated. The bottom line is that it's about allowing a simple question to guide your choices: does it work, or does it not work? This means, does this action lead to secondary satisfaction or not (remember that it is this very characteristic that distinguishes true needs and false needs)? Is the result that you feel more or less satisfied than before? Does your TSI increase or decrease?

Identifying and eliminating false needs, especially those that involve high stimuli can be hard. Allowing yourself to fail is part of the process. With some things you may have to fail several times before you realise that the behaviour does not benefit you or anyone else. This does not mean there is something wrong with you because you have to keep on tackling the same challenge again and again. Such is the nature of the “game”. If you have your sights set correctly and follow your plan, you will succeed with every need and behaviour you encounter.

Remember, it's about changing your emotional experience of life, not your intellectual understanding. To change your behaviour you need to change your feelings. That is why the effects of your actions are the key. Take note of the feelings that arise when you meet a certain need in a certain way. What do the primary effects feel like and what happens next? It is a matter of trial and error. You cannot solve this at the drawing board. You need to explore every need in a real way. Follow your map of needs and explore it "place by place”.

Conversations

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) assumes that you can't do it by yourself. You need help to change your behaviour. Now you might think "I'm not an alcoholic, I'll just stop eating so much sugar ”. If what you want is to stop using any kind of high stimulant, it can be of great benefit to consider your behaviour in the same way as AA regards alcoholism. Maybe the same applies to you, you might need external help in the form of discussion and support? Never underestimate the power of sharing your experiences and difficulties with another person. It can also be a good way to identify your needs, true or false and the resources you have to meet them.

Respect the ritual

Say you want to start training a little at home. Say you're thinking that about 45 minutes would be right for you to get the results you want. Say you get a little stressed on the third day of your new training schedule. Say you skip training that day so as to catch up with other things. Say the next day you feel the same way. What happens the day after that? Have you given up? Instead of being so hard on yourself, just try to focus on doing something, not what you do or how much you do. My rule is simple. I roll out the yoga mat and get into tadasana, the mountain pose. If I want to do more I can, although I do not feel obliged. Respecting the ritual is the only thing that counts in the long run. Why? Because of the body's reward system that we have talked about. When you do things that are good for the body, which benefit your survival, you experience a small reward: a “shower” of pleasure. This mechanism encourages you to do a little more the next time. A little more and a little more. Suddenly you have done those 45 minutes. So, all you need to do is to respect the ritual.

Motivation

Before you start working with yourself, understand your motivation! Why do you want to become a more harmonious person? Is it for your own sake? To improve your health? To feel better about yourself? To thrive better in other people's company? To be a better resource for your family or someone else? For your children or your partner? No motivation is wrong. As long as of course, it doesn't make you harm someone else.

Determination and motivation

Someone once said, "Suffering is the only true driver for change." I don't know if that is always true, but in my case it was. I started my "journey" from fear of suffering in the future. To avoid ill-health and early death, I changed my diet. After a while, my motivation was transformed, from a threat of future suffering to a promise of joy and well-being here and now. The positive effects of my lifestyle change took over as the driving force. More alert, happier, smarter, more peaceful with hope for the future and confidence, I asked the question "Why is it so difficult to change how I eat?”. This in turn led to the somewhat broader issue "What drives our behaviour?". Although I have now answered both of these questions in a satisfactory manner for myself, this does not mean that my motivation to keep on the "straight and narrow road" is less. On the contrary! Now I know that there is a method to follow, to achieve and maintain this feeling of true satisfaction and contentment in my emotional life, my determination and my motivation have strengthened.

Inspiration

Feel free to be inspired by people who seem to have got things sorted out but remember that your puzzle is yours alone to solve. Noone else can do it for you.

Trust your feelings

When my feelings tell me I should blindly follow the "three motives" (seek pleasure, avoid suffering, conserve resources) and be lazy, eat processed calorie-rich foods and avoid any effort, in the long run it is not a good idea to trust my initial  feelings. When I say "trusting your feelings", I mean trust in the secondary feelings that arise from your actions. Do you feel satisfied or dissatisfied? Trust these "markers” and let them guide you on your journey. In my view there are three kinds of knowledge: scientific studies (adequately proven), other people's experience (reading a book like this), your own experience. Although all three have value, the most valuable knowledge in life is your own experience. Be honest in what you feel and experience. Never underestimate your own experience.

Dare to do differently

The advice in this book often goes contrary to the way modern life is lived. Worry and dissatisfaction, resentment and frustration drive modern consumer society. The less satisfied we feel, the more we consume. Someone has even said that refined sugar drives commercialism. This is perhaps a little far-fetched. However when you decide to follow your own path you will trigger reactions from lots of people. To hold your course, your motivation must be clear. This demands courage and determination to break new ground and mark out a new road.

The reward

Your reward will be greater self-awareness and deeper self-knowledge, better health and a more alert mind. As the map fills with red “I-am-here dots", the feeling of true satisfaction and contentment will arise. One day you will realise that those feelings are not dependent on what happens on the surface of your life. A deep sense of true satisfaction and contentment.